Dating a man with addictive personality

  1. The Addictive Personality
  3. Dating someone with addictive personality
  4. 5 Things To Know Before Dating An Addict
  5. Tips for dating someone with borderline personality disorder

This low self-esteem pushes them to make constant comparisons with others. Addictive personalities project their unrealistic expectations on those around them. Since they set the bar so high, others are likely to fail in their eyes. They make value judgments and respond negatively not because of what the other person does but because of their own deep-rooted insecurities. Relationship conflicts occur due to the failure of others to live up to the lofty expectation set for them by the addicted individual. Addicts know this on some level and this is why they have contradictory emotions.

On one hand, they blame others for their perceived failures.

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On the other, they blame themselves for being unreasonable and brewing conflict yet again. They need to realize that their miseries are largely self-inflicted.

The Addictive Personality

This means that the solution must largely come from within as well. They have the power to change their thoughts and actions through complete self-awareness. Follow us at Calming Tide: Drug, Alcohol and Behavioral Resource for more articles on rehabilitation and recovery. The link between addictive personalities and the tendency towards conflict centered relationships was right on the money.

I think the key is the need for drama, tension, adrenaline and attention. Compulsive behaviors, borderline and bipolar run in my family on both sides.

I used to always have destructive, long term, sad and damaging relationships with men. I met my husband of 13 years in AA.


He works hard at keeping what he has. So I have a different but similar recovery focus. I do find myself compulsive about writing. Recently I made a rule to balance social media with the writing projects that are not instantly gratifying.

Dating someone with addictive personality

Social Media was swallowing me up and taking me away from developing my long term project! I am going to reread this and save it as well.

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  4. The Addictive Personality | HuffPost Life.
  5. Addictive Personality Relationship Problems.

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7 Signs You're Dating A Crazy Person

You hit the nail right on the head here. The cycle is made up of four steps:.

5 Things To Know Before Dating An Addict

It's so simple it's laughable, really. When you can draw your little, neat diagram to see what's going on. But when you're in the midst of it, emotions take over, and it's about as easy as driving your car through a blizzard. On a back road. With some addictions, there is a physiological component that further skews reality. And while I used to believe that once you were off of booze you were safe from the physiological drama within your limbic system emotion center of the brain , now I believe that the high of hypomania and mania produces the same illusion of completeness or serenity as when you reached the perfect buzz.

This is why it's so hard to come clean with your doctor so you both can work hard at pulling you down from the high before you crash.

Tips for dating someone with borderline personality disorder

Whatever they are feeling, they feel it intensely. Addicts feel very connected to the moment because of the intensity. Intensity, however, is not intimacy, though addicts repeatedly get them mixed up. The addict has an intense experience and believes it is a moment of intimacy. I wish I had read that distinction about 20 years ago, because I've spent too many years confusing the two. Whether it be a work project, a thrilling new friendship or a media opportunity, I assumed the trance state meant that it could complete me as Jerry Maguire would say , or at least take away all the restlessness I feel on a daily basis.

Nakken is right on when he says it's important for addicts to understand their propensity or yearning for trance-like states because, in some regard, we have to temper these urges our entire lives. Bottle or no bottle.

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  • On some level, this personality will always want to give the person the illusion that there is an object or event that can nurture him or her. So great, then what do we do? According to Nakken, we need to turn to supportive, nurturing relationships in order to grow emotionally and spiritually. Family and safe friendships. Nakken says we learn healthy interdependencies. I have trouble determining which friendships are safe for me, but for now, I'm just going to say those that don't make me feel like my head is going to blow up.

    We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Now that's more helpful for some people versus others.